Job Description: Looking for an energetic babysitter for 200 cute little monsters ages 12-13. Your primary responsibility is to oversee a group of 40 students at one time, but you also must be able to manage the remaining 160 students in your room while other babysitters sit around in the next room doing nothing. Ability to tolerate extreme heat is critical. Previous experience working inside a sauna or cleaning hot ovens will be helpful.
The listening impaired are encouraged to apply as noise levels within the classroom will sound muted.
The rare talent of understanding the children mumbling Creolese will be beneficial. Actors are encouraged to apply.
If you are over the age of 19, you must be married or else the children will think there is something wrong with you.
If you are Asian, you must know Kung-Fu because the children will ask you to demonstrate.
If you are a female, you must have long hair or else the children will ask you to grow it out.
Additional responsibilities may include being a nurse to patch up students’ cuts, being able to provide school supplies for students who can’t afford them or constantly lose them, and being a Blockbuster Video for the kids downstairs that ask you every day to borrow the same 3 DVDs.
Teaching students Social Studies and Reading is a plus, but not necessary. Resources are extremely limited and you will not find any suitable content in the textbook given to you. Ability to recall Jeopardy answers will be helpful.
Qualifications: English literacy
Salary: $225 US a month*
*Disclaimer: There is no guarantee you will get paid the first few months while the Ministry of Education shuffles around paperwork.